I like many other men and women in North America, have a part time job as well as my fulltime career. Many don’t know much about my full time job as due to it’s sensitive nature and the fact that people tend to get unnerved when the R word comes in (think The Incredible Hulk, or Spiderman) it’s better to keep it on the DL. I’ve since learned that explaining what I do is too much effort and simply referencing Homer Simpson from our longest running cartoon television show is much easier and the point comes off much smoother. However, my part time job in a nightclub is where one can get some very interesting viewing of how men and women react with each other in a ‘relaxed setting’ so to speak. Trust me, I have learned quite a bit just by walking around the bar and watching the show unfold before me.
At any rate, I had arrived at my part time gig just last night and wondered why the dance floor wasn’t cleared and our beer bins not set up. I had asked the other waitresses where my buddy ‘WL’ was who is supposed to take care of that and why wasn’t he here yet?
“His wife just called about 30 minutes ago to say that he wasn’t coming in tonight.” Was the answer I was given.
Strange, that isn’t like WL whatsoever. Let me tell you a little about my hard fought buddy WL, he is a beta, just like me who is the sole breadwinner in his household of 6 people, four kids, himself and his lovely (ahem) wife. He does have a fulltime job in logistics, but as the sole breadwinner, he obviously needed to pad his income, and that is how I came to meet him 2 years ago when he joined the staff at the bar.
WL has gotten his security training (a must in Ontario now) so when he wasn’t working at the bar, or at his full time job, he was moonlighting as a security guard for some of the many concerts or social events in neighboring Toronto, and yes, this dude didn’t get a lot of sleep. You see, on top of working all these hours, he had an issue with his eyesight so that driving for him was an impossibility. So, he would ride his bike 45 minutes to and from work, then ride to the bar on the weekends, and have to beg, borrow, and steal lifts to Toronto for a little extra cash.
And what for do you ask?
For a battle axe of a wife who denigrated him at every chance, overspent the money for the household, and denied him any sexual appreciation on a regular basis. Sure, was WL, perfect, heck, NONE of us are, and I had heard the stories and thought to myself (Remember Omni, you’ve heard only ONE side of the story) then I met her myself.
I’d gnaw my arm off to get away from someone like that, there was no reward for putting up with all of that sh!t!
I’ve even seen some comments from her on Facebook in regards to simple jokes and/or statements WL had posted, nothing any different from what any regular Joe would put on their wall, and frankly, some of her comments where so disrespectful that even my wife would jump and comment in his defense.
Imagine folks, waking up early to for a 45 minute bike ride across town, busting your ass all day, then riding 45 minutes home once more, then you crash on the couch because you want to take a nap, then are woken up just a few minutes later with a shrill;
“Must be NICE to be able to sleep!”
Is motherhood tough, you betcha, I won’t argue whatsoever about that! However, the two older ones are in school, so all she does is take care of the younger two and she usually has people over or goes out and visits them. WL, also helps around the house quite a bit so it isn’t as if she slaving away doing that either.
However, the one thing, which really opened my eyes about how much of a machine WL was for living such a life and not pulling his hair out, was the huge smile on his face when he was holding his children, or spending time with them. He was still attending the kid’s football/soccer/hockey games and even assisted coaching sometimes, and he loved every minute of it, despite the lack of sleep. WL suffered on a daily basis, but I can tell you that you would never see that when he was with his kids.
Well, yesterday I shook my head and considered what could have happened to WL as the night progressed. This dude will only call in if he’s pretty much dead so something fairly serious must have happened. Then, JS, WL’s close friend walked into the bar, his eyes burning into mine. He knew what happened to WL and he told me what the deal was. WL’s wife had been even worse as of late, she had been telling WL that she no longer wanted to be married, or to be there with him for the last little while and WL swore that she was trying to get rid of him. Turns out he was right, because WL had been arrested last night for assault.
Does WL have a temper, yup, he told me so himself, but he was a bouncer/barback at the club and I have never seen him really lose his temper and fly off the handle, and I have seen him break up a few brawls over the years. I also happen to know that his wife loves to push his buttons and is very good at it!! However, he has NEVER hit her, and refuses to do so.
JS was told that WL ‘Had just gone berserk and I had to call the cops.’
We both know the deal, and neither of us believed it. She didn't say that he hit her, didn't say that he had harmed any of the kids, just that he had suddenly, and inexplicably 'gone berserk'.
However, the ending shot to JS was the best, because he was then told that;
“And WL is probably going to blame this on me!”
This man busts his hump, doesn’t receive ANY of the 5 needs men typically have, and now will lose his security license due to this assault charge, which will affect his income, and possibly future opportunities, because he committed one simple mistake.
He got married to a North American Woman.
Folks, I have read this many times, people getting falsely accused of DV, and I bet WL would NEVER have thought that it would happen to him, but it can, this is the proof of that. One must remember one simple thing, to everyone else, you ARE someone else, and that these sad little circumstances has to happen to someone, and that someone is a living, breathing person.
The only question you have to ask is will YOU be the next contestant of “Fuck My Life Up Royal?”
That will never happen to me.
WL never thought that either, and I had never known anyone personally who had been falsely accused…until now.
Are you willing to take that chance?