The Phantom Tollbooth will be moving to wordpress for the forseable future. I cut my teeth here and it was a blast no lie. So for more @$$hole commentary, check out the new digs at http://omnipitron.com/.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
|c/o of Nydailynews.com|
Just happened across this bit of news today in regards to Kate Gosselin and her recent interview with Dr. Drew. I’m sure people will remember her from her now infamous treatment of her ex husband Jon on their former reality show. For those who may not know, yes they are divorced and Jon is apparently doing his best to stay out of the media spotlight and get on with his life, while being there for his kids. He has dabbled in the dating market, but at this point he’s gone back to be single and apparently loving it. Is it true, who's to say, but he's had more success in the dating market than his ex wife.
I’m not saying that either of these peeps are angels, both of them had some miscues during their marriage and the management of their now defunct show, however the interesting point is Kate’s current relationship status and how she seems to be taking it. The main issue I see here is that she still doesn’t own her part of why her marriage to Jon dissolved, and by not seeing it she is unable to rectify any issues she may have.
One doesn’t need to be a relationship guru to see that her behavior towards Jon was a major factor in them breaking up. However, like I had stated in a previous post, her behavior and attitude of looking out only for herself not only undermined her marriage, but also her value in the SMP. In truth, I have to shake my head at her situation; while I know that she has had some plastic surgery, it isn’t as if Kate Gosselin is ugly. I highly doubt that a man would have an issue with their wife looking like Kate at 36 especially after her having kids.
However, her personality is such a turn off that any man with sense will stay away. A single mom with kids has a hard enough time in this world as it is in terms of finding love, but 8 kids is quite a bit for a man to swallow. Now on top of that to add a domineering and selfish attitude with an unwillingness to see her own shortcomings, well you have a lonely woman who can’t find love to save her soul. At the moment, her relationship with Jon is 'peaceful' but not due to anything she is doing differently.
No matter how many surgeries or workouts she puts herself through, until she changes her attitude, she’s pretty much SOL.
While reading up on Kate, one commenter had suggested that she could suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. I’m no psychologist, nor am I saying that she does indeed have this disorder, but if this is the case or even a possibility, then for her to face this situation down, get tested and/or seek treatment could possibly aid in her future endeavors. I’m not saying whether she does or doesn’t but at the end of the day, her treatment of other people in her life is negatively affecting her which is precisely the reason why she is now so lonely. People simply won’t put up with her, whether she wants them too or not is irrelevant and any positive step in rectifying this situation is beneficial to her.
So here we are, two years later and she’s using her rationalization hamster in blaming her loneliness solely on the fact that she has 8 children. While her ex husband is happier without her despite her success in maintaining her appearance. This, my friends, is a prime example of being greedy and selfish at the expense of other people and how it time it will negatively affect you. A relationship is in some ways like a business deal, it’s cold and hard to put it like that, but it doesn’t make it any less true. It’s somewhat of a transaction as you trade between the two of you so you can reach a mutual understanding. Your partner has to get something out of being with you; just as you get something out of being with them. It would be bad enough if your partner received little benefit from your relationship, but for your partner to view being with you as some sort of detriment is nothing short of foolhardy.
If you want a man in your life, if anyone wants ANYBODY in their lives, then people need to make sure that your possible partner receives some benefit for being there and not simply look at their own needs alone. If not, all one needs to do is look at Kate Gosselin to see were you might end up. I had heard a saying once that your appearance gets you in the door, your personality keeps you there.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Ya'll need to see this video yeah, there's a tiny bit of male shaming in it, but in all honesty, I have nothing to add. Every point which needs to be made, Bernie makes in a very succint fashion!! As an aside...Still Going, my debate partner from Trenton Ontario, what pray tell, is your rebuttal to this man's position?
How about you listen to what's going on instead of arguing with the Sun?
Monday, February 20, 2012
Valentine’s day has come and gone for another year and I’m sure there are deludes of men in the doghouse after coming up short this year. What I find so strange about this situation is the fact that so many women are sniping their noses to spite their faces when it comes down to relationships and most don’t have a clue that they are doing so. In my bid years ago to attempt to understand women (cough) I encountered many things, which were somewhat illuminating in terms of having a successful relationship. That men and women have differing needs, which need to be met for both parties to be satisfied.
Essentially, I found one very important thing, that these needs tend to be non-negotiable, and by forgoing your partner’s needs by underestimating their importance you can undermine the very foundation of the relationship. Meeting these needs unlock the doors to satisfaction for your partner so no matter how you as a man may not understand why your wife needs to seek an emotional connection with you by talking about your mutual daily activities, or that you as a woman need to keep yourself relatively in shape to keep your husband’s eye, these things are important to them and they should be important to you IF you are seeking a happy long term relationship.
I’ve said it here before; a woman can and usually will feel neglected if for example she puts on an outfit and cuts her hair in order to get her husbands attention, cooks his favorite meal, gets the kids all ready for the evening, and cleans the house when hubby comes home, gives her a quick peck on the cheek, grabs a brew and heads to the couch to watch television for the night. All that work she put in and he doesn’t even acknowledge it, which to a woman is a cruel slap in the face and yes, it took me years to understand that as a dude. If that night hubby is feeling frisky, he probably isn’t going to get anything for understandable reasons, if she does cave and deliver him sexual satisfaction, she will most likely feel used and under appreciated.
Long term, a woman won’t feel like dressing up or being intimate if she constantly has to harass her husband to spend some time with her or even some rewards for the hard work she puts into their relationship. She would feel more like a domestic, not a wife, who toils thanklessly for a dude who takes every drop of her effort with no reciprocation and not a hint of gratitude. Even worse, if she decides to bring this up to him and he doesn’t change his ways or simply adjusts for the short term while reverting back to his old behaviors, this can and usually does lead to a sense that her needs aren’t important to him outside of what she delivers to him. This will lead to resentment, and over time, possibly straying eyes on her part and the end of the relationship in the future.
However, for any female reading this post, what I would like to touch upon is the fact that men can and will feel this way too if their needs aren’t being met.
To flip the script; a woman who gains weight, constantly belittles and denigrates her partner, manipulates his time and weaponizes sex will make him feel the EXACT same way as our maligned wife above. The point of this post is that many women don’t recognize that a man can and will feel under appreciated in relationships too. The question I wish to put forth to women is that I bet many want a guy to treat them the way the see in the movies; flowers and random gifts for appreciation of their contribution, date nights out to movies or swanky restaurants, long chats while walking in the evening time and simply to see the man desire to do these things and enjoy seeing the smile on his face when he sees how happy this makes her.
However, what I want to make clear to you ladies is simply a lesson one can learn from the fairy tales from old. The swashbuckling Prince, Knight, or hero didn’t slay the dragon, Black Knight, Evil Witch or Wizard for the hand of a nagging, ugly harridan. He braved life and limb for the beautiful and fair princess.
Bluntly, if you want to be treated like a queen, are you treating the man in your life like a king?
The behavior that women pine for comes at a price, simply put. This behavior isn’t something one is simply entitled too, any more than a husband can treat his wife the way I outlined in the first example. If you sympathize with that disparaged wife, then would it not make sense to ensure that your partner doesn’t feel this way toward you? How many women would feel safe in their relationships if their husbands did feel under appreciated in this manner?
Think about it!
As for weight gain, as time goes on, yes the pounds are going to creep on everyone, however I would wager that men simply want to see their women taking some sort of mitigating effort in this regard. Gaining some weight after years of being together is one thing, gaining 50lbs after being married for a decade is another. As an aside, I never really understood why women are even summarily accepting of letting themselves go. It isn’t as if they receive any benefit in doing so. Their health becomes compromised, their self-esteem takes a shot and it undermines their relationship with their spouses.
Maintaining your health isn’t only an investment in your marriage (and I believe that men also need to exercise and eat right as well) but also one in your long-term health, so I simply can’t see why a woman would be okay in accepting unnecessary weight gain. If a medical condition keeps her from exercising or facilitates weight gain, that’s one thing, to simply not give a sh!t is another. Even worse, to not know or even to learn what makes men tick and therefore employ it in your relationship while expecting princess treatment is setting a woman up for failure, plain and simple.
I’ve been to a counselor in the past and was told that my partner’s heavier frame was out of my hands. “It’s her body, it’s her choice.” Where her exact words, yet in my mind my answer to her was “Well, she wants to spend time with me, but then wouldn’t my time also be my choice?”
Even if one looks on game blogs, one can easily see that men of means (skilled in game) will put forth more effort for a pretty girl than they would for a plain Jane. If this woman turns out to be an entitled b!tch, they will leave them and find another. Caring about the needs of a man simply works in your favor as a woman who wishes to be in a relationship. Does anyone remember my buddy WL at all? For a case in point of just how treating a man poorly can affect you negatively, he had told me about something which happened between he and his wife a few years back. As I’ve stated, she does leave much to be desired in terms of her wifely duties, even to the point where my wife had stuck up for him on occasion. Long story short, she had complained to WL after seeing him in a tagged picture on Facebook smiling happily while hugging a waitress we worked with.
She asked him why he didn’t hug her that way, looking pleased as punch to be doing so. His response was that those waitresses don’t treat him like sh!t.
In conclusion, what I learned about women being happy I realized they where preset and had to be satisfied in order to keep wifey happy whomever she may be. The same goes for men, whether you agree with them or even like them is irrelevant, they are what they are. If you tell a man that he needs to ‘deal with it’ and forgo his needs, then I guarantee that you probably won’t get rewarded the way you wish too or may only receive begrudging appreciation at best.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Okay, although I’d read this article quite a while ago on The Spearhead, I hadn’t had the time to post about it until recently. You see the premise which Henry Laasanen states is actually quite illuminating, in my opinion as it appears to me, I think some of his conclusions have been reached due to looking at only one aspect in regards to male and female interactions. One of his conclusions was that men need women more than women need men.
Now, I can see this conclusion making sense if Henry had decided to look ONLY at sex when considering male and female leverage, but unfortunately doing so does both men and women a disservice. To be honest, that statement got my back up, part of the issue with men nowadays is that they believe this myth to be true which is why they accept bullsh!t behavior from women right from the jump. Moreover, it also instills a false sense of superiority in women, which is entirely unjustified. It isn’t true, and I believe that Henry needs to widen his scope in order to assist in facilitating his premise.
Yes, if one looks ONLY at sexual relations, it’s fairly easy to see that women by and large have men over a barrel. No, women may not pursue sex to the level men regularly do and that can be an advantage since that means that women have some leverage over men in this regard. However, men and women do not trade sex in and of itself, there is far more going on than that.
In truth, Henry is making the very same mistake that our friendly neighborhood feminist’s are making, assuming that men and women are far more similar than they really are and basing conclusions on this faulty premise. As I’ve stated in the negotiation; what Henry is forgetting is that women trade sex, (what men want and are willing to pay for) for a man’s resources (what women want and are willing to trade for). You see, both genders are looking out for their own best interests and seeking out the best deal for what they can get. To say that men and women trade in only sex would be like saying that when people are looking for houses, they trade ONLY in real estate, no mortgages, no banks, no money, just a house for a house.
How well would that work?
Women know that men like sex well enough to pay for it, which is why they where able to trade men sex for commitment. It’s due to the value that men place on sexual relations to women that a man may engage in a sex chat with women, but women may not so readily do so themselves. What do they get out of it other than a power trip at the expense of the men they are talking to? However, just as Henry had stated that women don’t engage in that behavior, men also don’t spend billions of dollars a year on their appearance now do they?
Since women don’t value sex in the same way that men do, what is the return on a man investing on his appearance in a manner such as this?
See, when one looks at other aspects of the negotiation, it becomes fairly evident that the old adage that “women need men like fish need a bicycle” is wholly false. Even the tremendous power of the male sex drive can be described akin to a biblical parable, it giveth and it taketh away. Men are VERY willing to pay for sex with attractive women…and women can take advantage of that. However, the downside is that men are VERY willing to pay for sex with attractive women…and women can take advantage of that. That a 30 something businessman maybe willing to spoil a 20 something woman rotten only to shag her, but…this businessman will also be willing to spoil OTHER 20 something women rotten only to shag them when he is 40 something and the initial woman is now 30 something and no longer worth his time.
That is the true nature of women’s sexual power. It isn’t something for men to adapt to, mainly because men don’t have too. Game and/or MGTOW is all a man needs, we simply don’t need women in the same capacity that women need us. There will always be a younger/hotter woman and when one considers what both genders bring to the table in the negotiation, the ‘women don’t need men myth’ is busted pretty handily. The world would change tomorrow if more men realized the truth about their own power and leverage. In fact, Emma the Emo had a comment, which I think, really hit the nail on the head;
Furthermore, another issue I had with Henry’s article was the fact that yes; he did acknowledge that due to the aggregate investment of men in society, women didn’t need individual men in the same capacity. Once more, by not looking at a larger picture, he misses out WHY men invest in society in the first place and even realizing that men can opt out if they so choose.
All in all, it was a very interesting article, only that some of the conclusions where in error.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Jersey Shore is complete crap, but that is why I watch it from time to time. To me it’s like a horrific car crash, which I simply can’t turn away from no matter how bad it gets. However, something happened a few weeks back, which really caught my attention, between Dj Pauly D, and a random girl he meets at Club Karma who was DTF.
I know I’m getting older, but I had to ask my niece what that meant. For those of you oldies like myself, it means Down To F@ck.
They go back to the Shore House and do their business; Pauly calls a cab soon after the fact, and makes light of the whole situation. Now, DTF girl actually steals Pauly’s chain and leaves. Pauly now realizes that it's missing and is in a tizzy trying to find it. The next day, she returns wearing it, stating, "Oh my god, I have no idea how I ended up with your very expensive jewelry in my panties. It just happened! Aren't I silly!"Okay, she didn't actually say that, but you get the picture.
Snooki read my mind (yeah I know, scary huh?) as I watched this ‘episode’ unfold in front of me and stated exactly what I took from the sitch;
"She stole it so she could come back and f@ck DJ Pauly D again. That's what I'd do."
Nice, stealing the chain SIMPLY as a way to return and receive more attention from the guy she currently has in her sights. What really had me going was simply this; does anyone NOT realize what just happened in that situation between DTF girl and Pauly D? Doesn’t anyone realize just how PATHETIC DTF girl was in this situation? To be reduced to theft in a weak bid to get more face time with the dude she currently fancies? What precisely did she get out of this exactly? Only a random ride from a famous dude who doesn’t even care to know her now that the deed is done is what. Money says that Pauly doesn’t know her middle name, why would be want too?
Some may say that I’m looking into this too much, but this is my take on this ridiculous situation. I refer to it as Ground Zero; basically those exact circumstances are precisely what Patriarchy was invented to protect women from. Men by and large do not value marriage the same way women do, and a man’s biological imperative is exceptionally easy to meet. In fact, it’s so easy to meet that a man can get exactly what he wants and skirt away without meeting a woman’s IF the woman isn’t smart enough to adequately manage the assets men find attractive.
Bluntly, he get’s a ride for the night, and she get’s nothing more than a notch on her belt for her trouble. Why would he want to meet her B.I., he already got what he wanted out of the deal. Hey, it’s a good thing that men don’t care too much about settling down with a high mileage or loose woman, right…oh wait.
Here’s the sitch, and I’m not getting down on Pauly D even if it seems that I am. He’s simply doing what so many other young men are engaging in right now with a bevy of willing women. Now that chastity is the thing of the past, young people can have all the hassle free sex they wish, I mean, chastity is oppressive, who pray tell wishes for that yoke to ever return? Men have no reason to invest in a woman to be honest now that the price of admission has been all but removed.
Thanks to the crap pumped out in the lamestream media, DTF Girl doesn’t even realize that she ended up on the losing end of that bargain. She gave it up so easily, she now has no ‘currency’ so to speak to trade with Pauly any longer. It's one thing to read about this stuff on the manosphere, it's truly another to see it happen so easily right in front of you!! I have yet to meet a man who ever wanted to marry a woman solely because she spent the night with someone famous.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Been reading about Audrey Ference and her position on false rape allegations and all I can say is that I’m appalled. Heck, even after this woman had seen the effects of a false rape claim on a male she knew, she still maintains the famous feminist paradigm that jailing or ruining innocent men is the price to be paid for women's safety.
Heck, I’m no rape supporter, nor am I a supporter of men assaulting women, never have been nor will I ever think it’s okay. However, it’s the fact that many women do feel they can let fly such an accusation mainly because there are little to no negative repercussions they will face in doing so. Long ago, I had written about a co-worker, WL who had suffered at the hands of such a false accusation. No it wasn’t rape, it was physical assault, but the bottom line is that it was indeed FALSE.
Didn’t stop him from having to live with his parents for 3 months in order to get the situation rectified.
I’ve said this before on The Phantom Tollbooth, and I’ll say it again; reading stats and stories from unfortunate souls is one thing, having it happen to a loved one close to you, or even to yourself is another matter altogether!! My own nephew in law had a near miss a few years ago. Sadly, it was the very same sitch that had happened to WL. When my NIL was in highschool, he and a female ‘friend’ of his got into a heated argument. She got right up into his face and was screaming at him. He finally had enough and pushed her away from him. Understand, he didn’t push her to the ground, he didn’t slap her, he didn’t even punch her, he simply pushed her and shouted ‘Get away from me!’
She took a few steps back, looked at him dead in the eye and said; “You just hit me!”
My NIL went white! He instantly knew that he could be screwed but thankfully, my former brother in law saw the whole thing and told him to get inside the house while telling her to leave. In addition, my SIL and former BIL also knew well enough to realize that she was a smoking gun, and later that year when my NIL was having a party, they turned her away when she showed up at the door. They wouldn’t even let her in the house, they where afraid of what it was that she could do.
Women have a tremendous amount of power today due to Feminism and they are sadly indiscriminate about how they choose to use it. This woman leveled a shot across the bow of my family, and luckily, no one got hurt. Others aren’t so lucky and the sad thing is why she even loaded her cannon and took a shot in the first place.
Due to the fact that she lost her temper and was losing an argument.
Here’s a question, how about all the ladies who support Audrey’s despicable position approach a REAL rape or assault victim who has had their life forever changed and is wondering just how to deal with coping and tell them a story such as this. How do you think they will react? How about telling them about the Duke False Rape brouhaha and the effects that has had on the lives of those men? How about the Hofstra case, what about that situation? You think they would feel good about nursing a violent memory and sense of violation and seeing women throwing around claims of rape for less than serious reasons? How does one think it would feel to see someone else using something that you may NEVER heal from solely as a means for gaining revenge of erasing a transgression? Does one ever consider how much it would hurt to see someone trivialize something as serious as rape in a manner such as that?
Think about it…think about it long and hard.