Relatively decent night at the bar, made some good tips which always helps out, but something transpired tonight which really had my attention, well mine and many other of my co-workers as well. See as I started my shift, I happened to notice a particular patron sitting in a booth right across from the bar with an acquaintance of mine. Well, notice may not be the right word for this particular situation. See, I’ve worked in bars and nightclubs on and off for the last 15 years. I’ve worked in quite a few different venues including a huge ‘super club’ in Downtown Toronto, and a small college pub in my parent’s city. It doesn’t take much effort to understand the patterns of the club goers which patronize these locations, the behavior displayed, the style of dress, you get the picture. The bar I work at part time is no world-class club in downtown T.O, simply a small bar and grill in a suburb 45 minutes West of the ‘big city’.
Bluntly, this bar is the sort of locale where a woman wearing a red cocktail dress would stick out like a tsunami hitting an island.
Now, I have to give credit where it’s due, this woman pulled off this cocktail dress DAMN well, but after all the years I’ve been in the Industry, one thing came to my mind. Even from my vantage point, it could be easily seen that this woman was…er…mature so logic dictated that she was …er….experienced enough to know what it was she looked like with her ‘get up’ in such a small location. To me this meant one thing; she was screaming for attention and knew that this was a place which increased her chances of being noticed. She was with two other women, one being my acquaintance, and while they too had dressed a little more formal for some particular occasion (I found out later it was a birthday party) they where both horrifically under-dressed compared to their compatriot. Was I correct about this possible attention whore?
Oh wait, there’s more.
As the night wore on, our fearless cougar had happened to snare some very lucky prey. This dude and our heroine had come back to the bar and started to put on a show for everyone to see. Well, these two started going at it like teenagers in heat, she was clearly happy that someone was paying attention to her, and he was happy that he scored a hottie. I swear it was like watching Wild Kingdom on television they way they went at it, all we needed was the British voice over and we would have been set!! During a discussion with one of our bouncers during the live action documentary, some illuminating facts came to my attention. Turns out that this woman was carded when she arrived with her two other female friends and had taken it as a compliment. She was 34 (surprise, surprise) and was at least 9 years older than her compatriots.
However, here is where the proof comes to light. She had been hitting on one of our bouncers before she found her ‘Mr. Right Now’ and started to play “Pin the Tail on my tonsils” like it was December 31 2012. Gotta wonder how many others would have had a chance before the bait was taken?
Seriously? Yeah, seriously.
C’mon, I can understand a woman putting a man through his paces in order to make sure that he is worthy and all that. I mean, I can fully fathom that making the wrong choice in a man can have some pretty heavy consequences for her, but when a woman approaches the SMP (Sexual Market Place) like it's an auction and she's the prize (the one who pays attention to me WINS) what the hell does that say about her? She just meets this guy and engages in hardcore PDA’s that even make women sick for crying out loud? No word of a lie, there was actually a point when her and Mr. RN are in a booth, getting ‘reacquainted’ and one of our bouncers had to tell them to turn it down a notch.
Did I neglect to mention that she just met this guy tonight?
I personally cannot see any self-respecting couple, man or woman, allowing this sort of behavior to continue. Many dudes I know would call it a night and take their ladies home if she refused to stop being so ‘friendly’ and many women I know would possibly start slapping some cheeks for getting fresh. Many of us just stood there and watched the tableau unfold, it was like watching a car crash, gruesome and stomach turning, but you couldn’t turn away.
She had actually gotten involved in a security situation as the night wound down. However, she wasn’t actually fighting, she was trying to defuse the situation by calmly telling an angry patron to relax as the consequences where fairly serious if he continued. I’m not really used to that sort of thing from women, I can understand a woman calming down only her significant other, but a random guy with bouncers around? Maybe this was simply another way for her to get attention from other guys? Who knows?
At any rate, I don’t know her back-story and in reality I really don’t want to know. I doubt she has kids; most divorced single mothers can’t pull off dresses such as that even if they live in the gym but there are always exceptions. Now I’m going to take off my @$$hole hat for a moment. The thing which bothered me about her behavior the most was how desperate she came off. One dude pays her a little attention and she’s all over him like flies on sh!t? What sort of guy is okay with meeting a girl like that? What are the chances that he will stick around for the long haul? How many decent guys (that are left at that age and are willing to marry) would accept her behavior? If she is all over the first guy to 'win the auction' so to speak what does it say about her Marriage Market Value as Brendan calls it? What does that say about her standards for herself and any guy she meets if she is going to use her looks (which where considerable considering her...er…maturity) to meet men?
Do yourself a favor ladies, take stock of yourself and learn what it is you're worth. While it was humorous to see this woman failing so badly in this endeavor, it was also somewhat sad. It was pretty clear that she was using her looks as the sole means of establishing her value, which means that over time she will feel powerless as her ‘value’ fades.
Don’t let this be you, the world will only laugh at you as you crash and burn. And for the fellas, read up on the manosphere, learn game, and if you are going to go down that path with the cocktail cougar, double glove that sh!t, alright?