Just got back from a very refreshing weekend with Mrs. Omni. Just celebrating our 4th anniversary and reflecting on the 9 years we have been together in total. There isn’t a reason to elaborate on what was planned; however I will say that my wife was very appreciative of the obvious effort which went into our anniversary celebration. As each unexpected surprise unfolded, my wife repeated the same question.
“What did I do to deserve this?”
Ah yes, what DID you do to deserve this, hmm? She had even stated this to her friends many a time, because you need to realize that women love to brag about the way their men treat them if it’s positive, (she used the term ‘being whisked away’ in a text to one of them and relished in the obvious jealousy they must have been feeling) as she related where she was going for the weekend. Now understand, Mrs. Omni and I talk a fair bit about manosphere topics and she is well versed on top of having empathy for men’s issues. She knows I don’t just reward her for being a woman or my wife, so she was curious about what exactly she had done this year to deserve so many rewards so to speak. As we traveled the 2 hours to our getaway destination (which she didn't know about), I finally was able to give her the 411 on ‘what she did’.
Two words, ‘Creative Selfishness’.
What does that mean? Simply put, it’s a term my wife and I came up with 4 years ago to describe that by giving others what they want, it makes it easier to get what you want. Creative Selfishness in my opinion is crucial to LTR’s. Yes contemporary guys need to use Game to assist in this endeavor, and I won’t lie, I employ a little myself. The thing is that by satisfying your partner’s needs, you actually grease the wheels in getting your own needs met too. Anyone with a wisp of common sense realizes that even accomplished Alpha’s may use more effort to attract a ‘hot woman’ than a Plain Jane. A woman also may concede more effort to appease a rich and powerful man as opposed to Joe Six Pack.
The more you meet your spouses needs, the more they will want to meet yours....in theory that is.
Let’s put it like this; what are the chances that a woman is going to don a ‘sexy costume’ for her husband where after she comes home from work and cleans the house and takes care of the kids, then he comes home, gives her a quick peck as he grabs a beer and then watches T.V. until bedtime? The kids are driving her up the wall the whole time and he’s blissfully unaware watching Sportcenter. Do you even think that she would be willing to even give him sex at all that night? Why would she? Women crave attention from the men in their lives, and he never satisfied that need for her, so now she has a boatload of resentment for him. Sex, doubtful, she’s p!ssed.
Guess, what ladies, the reverse is also true for men. Men aren’t going to take you out to dinner to expensive restaurants, take you for weekend getaways buying you anything and everything you want and crave when you weaponize sex, gain excessive weight, and treat him like sh!t. The reality of the situation is that just like you work hard to keep your house clean, tidy and the kids orderly, he is working hard as well.
You want an example? My wife busted her @$$ this year to make sure that the needs of the family and myself where met despite the circumstances. Earlier this year I started working much more overtime at my full time job and she never even batted an eyelash. I started taking home much more work than I usually did in the past and she bent over backwards in order to make things easier for me. That meant that around the house, I couldn’t help out like I used to so this increased the pressure on her in dealing with the kids, her own business, and maintenance of the house. Do you think that Mrs. Omni ever complained?
Do you think that Mrs. Omni ever weaponized sex?
Do you think that Mrs. Omni started to resent me for my lack of attention as I was now away from home on project after project and arrived later pretty much each night?
And the best part was that her even asking me what she may have done to deserve this treatment showed me that she didn’t even think she was entitled to anything special. I had told her just that, and she looked at me stating, “I’m just doing my job, just like you are.”
She took care of my needs, never wanting nor expecting a reward. She never had her hand out saying “What can you do for me” she just kept her head down, and got the job done, whether I was home or not. As she was meeting my needs, I felt she deserved a reward and I was happy to do whatever I had to in order to put a smile on her face (2 months in the planning folks, no joke). This is Creative Selfishness, Selfish B!tches rarely get treated to anymore than what it takes to keep their mouths shut and the same goes for selfish men. I only state this in regards to women because a selfish man is attacked by society, women are proclaimed as heroes. This doesn’t change reality however, and if you want a man to go over and above for you, you had best go over and above for him.
If you don’t, well, you have a much harder time asking for anything now don’t you?
The bottom line is that just like Dalrock and ElusiveWapiti, my marriage doesn’t suck as well and the effort that Mr’s Omni puts into our marriage is constantly seen, appreciated AND reciprocated. Think about what a bold statement that is for a man to say that on the manosphere. That was the reason why I put so much effort into my marriage on a daily basis and also for this past weekend. It’s also for that same reason why I turned down a 23 year old sunshine girl who was putting a full court press on me for some ‘extra marital fun’ a few years back. The Creative Selfishness my wife displays actually acts like insurance, it increases the odds that I won’t want to leave her, and increases the odds dramatically that I reciprocate her efforts. Yeah, I’m bragging on my wife a little, she damn well deserves it especially in a time when many women display asinine attitudes about their spouses and men in general.
If your husbands don’t take this effort in regards to you ladies, perhaps the problem is looking right back at you in the mirror, jus sayin’.