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Just happened across this bit of news today in regards to Kate Gosselin and her recent interview with Dr. Drew. I’m sure people will remember her from her now infamous treatment of her ex husband Jon on their former reality show. For those who may not know, yes they are divorced and Jon is apparently doing his best to stay out of the media spotlight and get on with his life, while being there for his kids. He has dabbled in the dating market, but at this point he’s gone back to be single and apparently loving it. Is it true, who's to say, but he's had more success in the dating market than his ex wife.
I’m not saying that either of these peeps are angels, both of them had some miscues during their marriage and the management of their now defunct show, however the interesting point is Kate’s current relationship status and how she seems to be taking it. The main issue I see here is that she still doesn’t own her part of why her marriage to Jon dissolved, and by not seeing it she is unable to rectify any issues she may have.
One doesn’t need to be a relationship guru to see that her behavior towards Jon was a major factor in them breaking up. However, like I had stated in a previous post, her behavior and attitude of looking out only for herself not only undermined her marriage, but also her value in the SMP. In truth, I have to shake my head at her situation; while I know that she has had some plastic surgery, it isn’t as if Kate Gosselin is ugly. I highly doubt that a man would have an issue with their wife looking like Kate at 36 especially after her having kids.
However, her personality is such a turn off that any man with sense will stay away. A single mom with kids has a hard enough time in this world as it is in terms of finding love, but 8 kids is quite a bit for a man to swallow. Now on top of that to add a domineering and selfish attitude with an unwillingness to see her own shortcomings, well you have a lonely woman who can’t find love to save her soul. At the moment, her relationship with Jon is 'peaceful' but not due to anything she is doing differently.
No matter how many surgeries or workouts she puts herself through, until she changes her attitude, she’s pretty much SOL.
While reading up on Kate, one commenter had suggested that she could suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. I’m no psychologist, nor am I saying that she does indeed have this disorder, but if this is the case or even a possibility, then for her to face this situation down, get tested and/or seek treatment could possibly aid in her future endeavors. I’m not saying whether she does or doesn’t but at the end of the day, her treatment of other people in her life is negatively affecting her which is precisely the reason why she is now so lonely. People simply won’t put up with her, whether she wants them too or not is irrelevant and any positive step in rectifying this situation is beneficial to her.
So here we are, two years later and she’s using her rationalization hamster in blaming her loneliness solely on the fact that she has 8 children. While her ex husband is happier without her despite her success in maintaining her appearance. This, my friends, is a prime example of being greedy and selfish at the expense of other people and how it time it will negatively affect you. A relationship is in some ways like a business deal, it’s cold and hard to put it like that, but it doesn’t make it any less true. It’s somewhat of a transaction as you trade between the two of you so you can reach a mutual understanding. Your partner has to get something out of being with you; just as you get something out of being with them. It would be bad enough if your partner received little benefit from your relationship, but for your partner to view being with you as some sort of detriment is nothing short of foolhardy.
If you want a man in your life, if anyone wants ANYBODY in their lives, then people need to make sure that your possible partner receives some benefit for being there and not simply look at their own needs alone. If not, all one needs to do is look at Kate Gosselin to see were you might end up. I had heard a saying once that your appearance gets you in the door, your personality keeps you there.