Valentine’s day has come and gone for another year and I’m sure there are deludes of men in the doghouse after coming up short this year. What I find so strange about this situation is the fact that so many women are sniping their noses to spite their faces when it comes down to relationships and most don’t have a clue that they are doing so. In my bid years ago to attempt to understand women (cough) I encountered many things, which were somewhat illuminating in terms of having a successful relationship. That men and women have differing needs, which need to be met for both parties to be satisfied.
Essentially, I found one very important thing, that these needs tend to be non-negotiable, and by forgoing your partner’s needs by underestimating their importance you can undermine the very foundation of the relationship. Meeting these needs unlock the doors to satisfaction for your partner so no matter how you as a man may not understand why your wife needs to seek an emotional connection with you by talking about your mutual daily activities, or that you as a woman need to keep yourself relatively in shape to keep your husband’s eye, these things are important to them and they should be important to you IF you are seeking a happy long term relationship.
I’ve said it here before; a woman can and usually will feel neglected if for example she puts on an outfit and cuts her hair in order to get her husbands attention, cooks his favorite meal, gets the kids all ready for the evening, and cleans the house when hubby comes home, gives her a quick peck on the cheek, grabs a brew and heads to the couch to watch television for the night. All that work she put in and he doesn’t even acknowledge it, which to a woman is a cruel slap in the face and yes, it took me years to understand that as a dude. If that night hubby is feeling frisky, he probably isn’t going to get anything for understandable reasons, if she does cave and deliver him sexual satisfaction, she will most likely feel used and under appreciated.
Long term, a woman won’t feel like dressing up or being intimate if she constantly has to harass her husband to spend some time with her or even some rewards for the hard work she puts into their relationship. She would feel more like a domestic, not a wife, who toils thanklessly for a dude who takes every drop of her effort with no reciprocation and not a hint of gratitude. Even worse, if she decides to bring this up to him and he doesn’t change his ways or simply adjusts for the short term while reverting back to his old behaviors, this can and usually does lead to a sense that her needs aren’t important to him outside of what she delivers to him. This will lead to resentment, and over time, possibly straying eyes on her part and the end of the relationship in the future.
However, for any female reading this post, what I would like to touch upon is the fact that men can and will feel this way too if their needs aren’t being met.
To flip the script; a woman who gains weight, constantly belittles and denigrates her partner, manipulates his time and weaponizes sex will make him feel the EXACT same way as our maligned wife above. The point of this post is that many women don’t recognize that a man can and will feel under appreciated in relationships too. The question I wish to put forth to women is that I bet many want a guy to treat them the way the see in the movies; flowers and random gifts for appreciation of their contribution, date nights out to movies or swanky restaurants, long chats while walking in the evening time and simply to see the man desire to do these things and enjoy seeing the smile on his face when he sees how happy this makes her.
However, what I want to make clear to you ladies is simply a lesson one can learn from the fairy tales from old. The swashbuckling Prince, Knight, or hero didn’t slay the dragon, Black Knight, Evil Witch or Wizard for the hand of a nagging, ugly harridan. He braved life and limb for the beautiful and fair princess.
Bluntly, if you want to be treated like a queen, are you treating the man in your life like a king?
The behavior that women pine for comes at a price, simply put. This behavior isn’t something one is simply entitled too, any more than a husband can treat his wife the way I outlined in the first example. If you sympathize with that disparaged wife, then would it not make sense to ensure that your partner doesn’t feel this way toward you? How many women would feel safe in their relationships if their husbands did feel under appreciated in this manner?
Think about it!
As for weight gain, as time goes on, yes the pounds are going to creep on everyone, however I would wager that men simply want to see their women taking some sort of mitigating effort in this regard. Gaining some weight after years of being together is one thing, gaining 50lbs after being married for a decade is another. As an aside, I never really understood why women are even summarily accepting of letting themselves go. It isn’t as if they receive any benefit in doing so. Their health becomes compromised, their self-esteem takes a shot and it undermines their relationship with their spouses.
Maintaining your health isn’t only an investment in your marriage (and I believe that men also need to exercise and eat right as well) but also one in your long-term health, so I simply can’t see why a woman would be okay in accepting unnecessary weight gain. If a medical condition keeps her from exercising or facilitates weight gain, that’s one thing, to simply not give a sh!t is another. Even worse, to not know or even to learn what makes men tick and therefore employ it in your relationship while expecting princess treatment is setting a woman up for failure, plain and simple.
I’ve been to a counselor in the past and was told that my partner’s heavier frame was out of my hands. “It’s her body, it’s her choice.” Where her exact words, yet in my mind my answer to her was “Well, she wants to spend time with me, but then wouldn’t my time also be my choice?”
Even if one looks on game blogs, one can easily see that men of means (skilled in game) will put forth more effort for a pretty girl than they would for a plain Jane. If this woman turns out to be an entitled b!tch, they will leave them and find another. Caring about the needs of a man simply works in your favor as a woman who wishes to be in a relationship. Does anyone remember my buddy WL at all? For a case in point of just how treating a man poorly can affect you negatively, he had told me about something which happened between he and his wife a few years back. As I’ve stated, she does leave much to be desired in terms of her wifely duties, even to the point where my wife had stuck up for him on occasion. Long story short, she had complained to WL after seeing him in a tagged picture on Facebook smiling happily while hugging a waitress we worked with.
She asked him why he didn’t hug her that way, looking pleased as punch to be doing so. His response was that those waitresses don’t treat him like sh!t.
In conclusion, what I learned about women being happy I realized they where preset and had to be satisfied in order to keep wifey happy whomever she may be. The same goes for men, whether you agree with them or even like them is irrelevant, they are what they are. If you tell a man that he needs to ‘deal with it’ and forgo his needs, then I guarantee that you probably won’t get rewarded the way you wish too or may only receive begrudging appreciation at best.